FRESH START 2

 ...continued from Part 1

After thinking about the possible implications of any choice I make, I turned to my roommate and said to her that I could not do it. She rebuked me vehemently and reminded me of my predicament, but I was not moved by her words; my mind was made up.  I left for the hostel without turning back… with the sense of peace that I had done the right thing.

A few days later, I called my discipler to inform him. He then spoke with my father and pleaded with him. My father, now born again, was heartbroken because he never expected this from me but to my greatest surprise, he did not throw me out. Then I shared my situation with my friends expecting a cold shoulder from them but alas, they extended to me their right hands of fellowship.

I was able to push through my first year with my protruded tummy even though I ate and slept more. It was not a smooth sail though. There were times guilt overwhelmed me and I was worried about the future but somehow, I was able to find solace in God and He sustained me beyond my strength, helping me stay in faith.

Honestly, I was ashamed of myself. During the break, I could not go out. Then I was quite heavy and became the talk of the neighborhood. On several occasions, I looked at the mirror and hated myself because I was pregnant and not married. At certain times, my blood pressure increased.

It was indeed a difficult time and I realized that sin had cost me more than I was ready to pay for. But I made up my mind to move on with God.

Eventually, I was delivered of a male child and had to defer my studies for one year which meant that I could not resume the second year. I deferred because i wanted to nurse my son and take good care of him, at least, for his first year. Thank God for my parents that never gave up on me - they are a major reason I can tell this story today.

After the first year of nursing my son, I returned to school burning for God and living beautifully; not allowing my past to hinder my future. People wondered where I got such confidence from but the best answer I could give them was JESUS.

I really don’t know how far you have turned from God but going farther is not the answer. I may not know how ugly your scar is or was, or how badly the devil damaged you. The good news I have for you today is that you can start afresh with Jesus. He is loving and always ready to accept us if we will only come back to him in genuine repentance. The consequences of your past misdeeds might not disappear, there might be scars and challenges, but you will completely be forgiven by God.

Start afresh with God.

And if you have never had this beautiful walk with God, you can start now. God is also calling you saying:

‘’Therefore if any person is (ingrafted) in Christ (the messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old (previous moral and spiritual condition) has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come’’. 2Cor 5:17 Amplified version

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A Fresh Start.

Based on a true life event...

My name is Joy and I am the first child of my parents. I had an Islamic background, but was privilege to accept Christ at the age of 15 in a teenager’s program my school was invited for. Owing to my background, I could not go to church, attend meetings and or receive friends that could have helped me spiritually. The best I could do was to read my bible occasionally and pray.

I was inconsistent with Jesus, and entered into different romantic relationships in search of the satisfaction and love that can only be found in Jesus. Soon enough I started having pre-marital sex, which troubled my conscience a lot. Often times I said to myself, ‘I will not do this again’… few weeks after I went back to it.

I got admitted into the university and was ready for a fresh walk with God. I was privilege to have friends that were lovers of God. I joined a discipleship group and started growing in the faith. Few weeks into this new phase of my life, my ex-boyfriend visited me and persuaded me into another sexual relationship with him… again I fell into the act I just left.

I cried sore and told God to forgive me. I ended the relationship and said to myself again ‘Joy it’s time to start afresh’. Three weeks later, I observed that I was losing weight, feeling feverish and also had missed my last menstrual period…” Could it be? No!No!!It can’t be” I said to myself. My roommate insisted that I follow her to the hospital and be sure of what the problem was without making any costly assumption. “That was fine by me” I thought to myself. We got dressed and headed for the hospital. After series of test, the result stated that I was pregnant.

It was as though the ground should open up and swallow me. I was confused, terrified and frightened. My friend, trying to be good, suggested she would pay the bills for me to abort the child. I cried and thought of it over and over. I only recently began a fresh walk with the Lord. “Is killing my baby the right thing to do? ...What do I do? How will I tell my father? What will my classmates say? Will I be able to continue schooling? Will my ex-boyfriend take the responsibility? Will the church not laugh at me and condemn me? Will my father throw me out of the house? What will become of my tomorrow?My friend paying for the abortion is it a blessing in disguise?  The little my parents have is what they are investing into my education, even if they don’t throw me out can they afford to feed another mouth? What if I die in the process?” These were my lingering bitter thoughts…

To be continued…

Night Thoughts